Stretching the Boundaries
by Elliot Pole
Summary: Scorpius and Lily have a fight, and Scorpius affections are now focuesed on Lily's aunt, Hermione Weasley. Liking an older woman can be dangerous, especially if she likes you back.
1. Chapter 1

**Stretching the Boundaries**

**Chapter One**

Sometimes an older woman's hands are more desired than a girl one's own age.

That is not to say that Scorpius _set out _to fall in love with Lily's aunt. It just sort of happened.

The Malfoys had been invited to a wedding on Boxing Day It was the marriage of Daphne Greengrass and Dennis Creevy. Draco had not wanted to go because he knew that the Potters and the Weasleys were friends of Dennis Creevy and did not want to see them. Also, he did not want to show support of a marriage between a pureblood and a Muggle-born.

But Astoria appealed to her husband, saying, "I think you'll be surprised at the way the event will turn out."

And since Draco did want Scorpius to keep the affections of Lily Potter, being at an event where she was likely to be was probably a wise move.

At the wedding, Scorpius sat between his two sisters. They wedged their chairs very close to his and sat as near him as possible so that he could not escape their clutches. Actually, they almost seemed to sit more on his chair than on their own.

The priest went through the usual riffraff about honoring and obeying and how matrimony would be so blissful yada yada yada, and their might be pitfalls but yada yada yada. Then came the big question. "If there are no objections?"

Scorpius' mother had risen up. "I oppose this marriage between my sister and this Muggle-born wizard."

"Astoria, I'm finally getting married. You should be happy for me."

"You are going to die an old maid if I have to make an Unbreakable Vow to ensure it happens."

Scorpius' own sisters controlled his life too. But Astoria was younger than Daphne, and Charybdis and Scylla were both older than Scorpius. He didn't know how a younger sibling could have so much control over an older one.

Daphne backed away from Dennis, saying, "I can't marry you."

At the reception that wasn't, Hermione had bent down to pick up a pin that had fallen to the ground. Scorpius saw the curvature of her butt and wondered what it would be like to put his hand on it. Unfortunately her lanky husband did just that a moment later, and Scorpius wished he knew a good hex and weren't likely to be reported if he cast one.

Maybe his father would sue if someone tried to report Scorpius for underage magic. Surely, he would.

Scorpius pulled out his wand with precautionary care so as no one would suspect what he was doing. He muttered, "_Furnunculus_," in a low voice, hoping no one would hear it.

Ron pulled his hand away from Hermione's rear at once, yelping in pain. He then thrust his fist in the punch bowl.

Scorpius was ready to glory in his triumph when to his horror he saw Hermione struggling to keep her poise because she had been hit by the spell, Then she couldn't hold it any longer and started dancing around, calling for someone to bring her essence of murtlap.

This time he brought his wand out into full view and said, "_Accio Murtlap Essence!_" Then he carried over the tray of it to her. "Here you are, Mrs. Weasley."

Her hand brushed his as she took it. She was shaking too much to see who had given it to her, but she did say, "Thank you." Then she grabbed Ron, who still had his hand in the punch bowl, and they Disapparated, presumably to a private place where they could apply the essence of murtlap.

Scorpius had stared at his hand. It felt as though it had been singed with Fiend Fyre and would burn off or decay.

And then Lily had appeared, looking over her shoulder before pulling him away from all the hubbub. She could not allow her father to see her with Scorpius. _His _father winked at him as he passed with Lily, for Draco wanted his son to win Lily's heart and to marry her one day. And Scorpius' sisters were there to ensure that he held true to this whim of his father's.

That night, Scorpius dreamed that Hermione allowed him to apply essence of murtlap to her rear end, saying, "I'd rather have your youthful hands than those of my old husband's."

He woke up in a frenzy, for the dream had been so lifelike other than the fact that Hermione would never, ever say anything like that. Would she?

Then Lily and Scorpius had a fight. It was over something silly. Scorpius hadn't invited her to Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop for Valentine's Day, and she was upset.

"I doubt you have any plans for Valentine's Day at all," she said, when he told her he had not made a booth reservation.

"I'll go make one now," Scorpius said.

"It's too late," she said. "Every booth is reserved for that date. It seems there's going to be a kissing frenzy this year."

"Next Hogsmeade visit, then."

"I want it to be on Valentine's Day. It is my birthday too, you know."

"Of course I know that, and I've got a big birthday surprise planned for you."

"You'd better," Lily said, "or you'll have to kiss me good-bye."

Scorpius brought Lily out to Hogsmeade, a blindfold preventing her from seeing where he was taking her. He took it off right outside the Shrieking Shack and she gazed around. "Where's the big surprise?" she asked.

He nodded at the ground, and she turned her gaze upon that spot.

Lily was not amused when she saw the miniature circus Scorpius had cooked up, with a hot-air balloon blasting off and "sky-writing" seven feet in the air, "For My Lily."

The circus involved toy sea lions shooting a beach ball with a three-centimeters diameter into the air and doing a sort of volleyball game with it, and a clown battling a Pygmy Puff and a tiny Blast-Ended Skrewt at the same time. It was bewitched to operate all controls at once, only the Pygmy Puff being an actual, living creature.

Lily had her arms folded during the entire display.

"This is the kind of stuff you do for little witches," she said. "I'm thirteen and I expected something grander."

"Isn't it the thought that counts?"

"Not if you love me. Seriously, is this the kind of thing that you do for a girl whom you have been dating for eight months now?"

"I thought you'd like it."

"Well, you thought wrong," she said, glaring at him.

She stared in the opposite direction for a few minutes, then turned around. "I said you would have to kiss me good-bye. So let's kiss, and then part."

Scorpius didn't want it to end like this. He tried to protest but she put her finger to his lips.

"We kiss, and then we part. There is nothing else to it," she said.

So they kissed. And Lily went away, down the stairs to the Hufflepuff Basement.

She would not speak to him in the corridors, ignored the messages he sent her by way of third-years, and when he tried to sit at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall, she would get up and leave her meal untouched.

Scorpius would have been really upset about this if he hadn't had Hermione to think about. But someone had given him the password to the prefect's bathroom, and since he had heard that Hermione had been a prefect, he decided to go in there and find anything that she may have left behind, all those years ago.

He imagined being in a hammock with Hermione. Her forty-year-old hands grazing his sixteen-year-old thigh. If their genders were switched, she would be sent to Azkaban for being found in a hammock with a young girl. But her being a woman and him being a boy, there shouldn't be as stringent measures against her. Draco might try something, and Scorpius' sisters could punish him, but other than them, he and her would have nothing to worry about.

Scorpius went into the prefects' bathroom one night, using the password given to him. He took a look at the tub and the various faucets. It might be fun to try them out, but he was after something more important. Clues to Hermione's past.

Searching the bathroom, he was ready to give up. There were various objects that could have belonged to Hermione, like a toothbrush and a purse, but there was no way of verifying this. And the purse most likely belonged to one of the current prefects or the Head Girl, Altaria Yokuss.

Then Scorpius looked at a portrait on the wall, which showed a beautiful mermaid. She was waving her fin about and clapping. He thought her expression said, _I know what you seek_.

"Where? Where is it?" he asked.

She pointed to the side. He peered in that direction, but did not see anything there but a plastic chair. He went over there and examined the chair. There was nothing there.

"Did this chair belong to Hermione?" he asked the mermaid.

She shook her head and continued to point to the left.

"I don't know what you're trying to tell me!" Scorpius said.

The mermaid did a beckoning motion with her hand.

"What is it you want?" Scorpius demanded. He clasped both sides of the portrait and pulled.

The portrait swung open. There was a cavity in there and Scorpius reached inside to discover a jewelry box.

He started to lift the lid but hearing sounds from the portrait, he deduced that the mermaid wanted to be witness to his discovery.

Shutting her portrait, he returned to opening the jewelry box. The mermaid's squeals of delight were fairly loud, and he hoped no one would hear it through the prefects' bathroom door. He turned his gaze upon the door but thinking his fears might be groundless, he gave his attention back to the jewelry box.

A photo fell out of it. He picked it up to discover that it was Hermione's portrait from her time at school here.

She looked stunning. In the photo she was seventeen. She waved at him under a brimming smile. It looked like a party of some sort.

"She did not enjoy that party," a voice behind him said.

He turned around in fright. A ghost he had never seen before, a little girl with a rather morose face, was floating in midair.

"There's no need to look at me like that, Draco. I know it's been so long since you've visited, but you've got to remember your old pal, Moaning Myrtle."

She had him mistaken for his father. Though, if she knew Draco, she couldn't be all that dangerous.

"I'm his son," he said.

"Oh, well that's a different matter," she said. "Pleased to meet you, then. I'm Myrtle. Your father and I go way back. He used to spill his troubles to me. I'm sure he talks about me all the time with his family."

Scorpius didn't have the heart to tell her that Draco never mentioned a ghost girl he had known at Hogwarts at all. She might take it hard.

"You say Hermione didn't like the party she attended in which this photo was taken?"

"Yes. That was Slughorn's party, that was. She went with some big Quidditch wannabe or some such. She told me about it afterwards, coming in here to soak her troubles away in a bubble bath."

"Then why is she smiling in the photo?"

"It is courtesy to smile when one says 'Smile' and then snaps a picture. "

"I suppose it is," Scorpius said. He was absorbed by the picture of Hermione at an age closer to his own. He rather liked the way Hermione looked then, but he preferred her now. He wouldn't use a time-traveling device that had less complications than the Time Turners if someone offered it to him, because Hermione was desirable in her present state to him more than in her past one. He did keep the picture, however, for safe-keeping. So long as Rose or Lily or any of the Weasley cousins didn't catch it in his possession.

"How'd this picture get in the jewelry box?" Scorpius asked.

"She put it there. It was her jewelry box and after taking the bubble bath and telling me all about her troubles, she poked her head outside the bathroom door and said, '_Accio jewelry box_!' It came, and she stored the photo in it. Then she did a spell on the portrait of the mermaid to open it up and place the jewelry box inside. I think she also performed a spell to create a hole to store the jewelry box in, too."

"May I keep the picture?"

"It is not up to me to say. You'd best ask Hermione."

"I think I'll take it anyway and assume permission has been given," Scorpius said.

"Be careful you don't make her angry," Myrtle said. "Hermione is not fun to be around when she's angry."

"I'll remember that," Scorpius said, heading for the door, the jewelry box in his hand. He took one last look at Moaning Myrtle, and then his eyes fell upon the portrait. The mermaid was winking at him.

He left the prefect's bathroom, so glad to have in his possession something Hermione had actually _touched _and owned and which contained her image within. Maybe not the image of her he had become crazy about, but still an image. It would be a treasure knowing that he had this of Hermione's, at least.

"What was it like being slapped by Hermione Weasley?" Scorpius asked his father when he went home that Easter.

"Where'd you hear about that?"

"Cilene Nott said her father told her."

"Well, the Nott family can go choke on Floo powder for all I care."

"Dad, I just want to know about Hermione Weasley."

"She wasn't married to that brat then," Draco said. "Her name was Granger."

"Were you soft on her? Is that why she slapped you?"

"Soft on her? No. We hated each other. Pansy hated her more than I, and usually it was Hermione retaliating against me for things I did or said to her friends, not anything against her. Well, I did call her "Mudblood" once or twice, but she couldn't have been upset about _that_. Mudbloods know how pure-bloods feel about them, so it shouldn't have bothered her to be called such."

Scorpius still didn't know what he wanted, what it was like to be _slapped _by Hermione. It had to be a blissful thing. He had heard a Muggle-born Ravenclaw tell her boyfriend about a movie called _Gone with the Wind_, in which slapping is made to seem romantic. Scorpius didn't know much about movies (wizards didn't have them; as he had heard one wizard say, "We can make magic. We don't need to watch it on a screen like the Muggles do."), but he was certain that having Hermione touch him at all, even in a hateful gesture such as a slap, would make him feel elated.

Having received no useful information from his father, he concluded that he would have to approach Rose Weasley, daughter of Hermione. She probably knew more about Hermione than any other girl he could talk to.

"Rose," he said.

"Scorpius."

"Is your mother fond of mints?"

She stared at him, eyes narrowed. "Why would you wish to know that?"

"Because I have a box of mints here from my auntie, and as I don't want them I thought you might pass them along to your mother, if she likes them."

"Mum doesn't like mints," Rose said. "Her parents are dentists, you know. But I have a soft spot for them. I don't mind taking them if you're offering."

"I just remembered. Pietre Glake's cat eats mints to regain its health, and its very ill right now so maybe I'd better give them to him."

"All right," Rose said, sighing. "Keep your bloody mints. See if I care."

She stormed off.

Scorpius' two sisters cornered him in the Slytherin common room that evening. Charybdis, who was in her seventh and final year at Hogwarts, and Scylla in her sixth.

"Our sources tell us that you've been inquiring about an older woman," Scylla said.

"So what if I have?"

"Your partner in life is Lily Potter," Charybdis said. "You cannot change that."

"I wasn't trying to. What I feel now is just a fling. It'll pass."

"It'd better," said Charybdis, putting her finger under Scorpius' chin and raising his face to meet her eye level. "Because you're not marrying anyone but Lily, and that's that."

"Lily might not want to marry me," Scorpius said.

Charybdis released her hold on him. "After you two have been so cozy together? I don't believe it."

"It's true!"

"She'll come around," Scylla said, giving him the usual kick in the shins that she delivered whenever she gave him an uplifting statement.

"Yeah, she will. She's only thirteen, after all," Charybdis said, punching him in the stomach once with each of her fists and making him feel like he had just had an internal flip-over. "So stop asking about older women, if you know what's good for you."

Scorpius saw the Headmistress in the hallway. He approached her. "Professor McGonagell, could you tell me about Hermione Weasley _nee _Granger's time at Hogwarts? Only, I'm doing a report for History of Magic on former Hogwarts students, and I need some direction about where to look for information."

"I'm not sure Professor Binns would approve of you choosing so recent students for your report, Mr. Malfoy. But the best place to seek out information is the library."

"Would there be mention of her in any of the books there?"

"You'd be hard-pressed to find a respectable library that does _not _include information on Hermione Weasley, as she was with Harry Potter through most of his adventures, and Harry Potter is the most written about living wizard."

"Well, that's certainly what I needed to know. Thanks a lot, Professor!"

As he went down the hallway, she called after him, "And she would certainly approve of you doing research on her in the library, as that was her favorite venue while she was a student here at Hogwarts."

Scorpius hoped that by this statement, she did not mean to suggest that she knew what he was really after. Or at least that the Headmistress wouldn't put a stop to it if she did know.

He sprinted to the library. The idea that he could _read _about his darling had never occurred to him before.


	2. Chapter 2

**Stretching the Boundaries**

**Chapter Two**

Have you ever wished you were fifteen again? One doesn't know where or why these desires crop up, but they do.

I attended a wedding between Daphne Greengrass and Dennis Creevey last Christmas.

Dennis was a friend of Harry's from our days in school. Well, not exactly a friend, more of a fanboy. Well, not even a fanboy, more of the brother of a fanboy.

Then Dennis' brother died in the Second Wizarding War as he was trying to snap a picture of Dolohov fighting with Remus Lupin. A ray of green light meant for Penelope Clearwater off in the distance missed her, but hit Colin in the back, and he perished.

It was a sad moment, and I think we have grieved for Dennis' sake since then. Being at his wedding was a way of showing our support for his coping with life without Colin.

I was not there for Daphne Greengrass. She was one of Pansy Parkinson's gang, and though she didn't really target me much with her own comments, she laughed at all of Pansy's insults that were aimed my way.

The excuse I tend to make for Daphne is that she was coerced into following Pansy, she being a Slytherin and in our year. Daphne has always been pretty, which is more than one can say for the other girls in Pansy's gang. Millicent Bulstrode was one of the grossest.

Daphne is probably all right now. She was probably always all right, but because of her being in Pansy's gang, it was difficult to tell. At any rate, Dennis loves her, and I support him in whomever he wishes to be with.

I wore my peach-colored dress to the wedding. The bottom part is more like shorts than a skirt.

The wedding seemed to be going along swell, until the priest asked if there were any objections. Astoria, the wife of Draco Malfoy and Daphne's sister, stood up and told her sister point-blank that she was going to remain an old maid for the rest of her life, if Astoria had anything to say about it.

Daphne just backed down, as if she had no bite in her. It was rather maudlin, I think.

At the reception, which was a peculiar affair when one thought about the fact that the wedding hadn't gone through, I gave Dennis some words of encouragement. "At least you have known love, even if it is no more."

"I'll miss her, though," he said.

"I know. If Ron's brothers had stopped him from marrying me on _our _wedding day…"

As if on cue, Ron showed up. "I would have told them that they could go kiss a dragonfly," he said.

"Daphne must do what pleases her," said Dennis. "I didn't want her to go in this without a full heart for it. The result shows that she didn't want to go through with this completely."

"There'll be another girl around sometime," I said.

Dennis shook his head. "I'm thirty-eight years old,, Hermione. It was now or never."

He went on his way and was stopped by Neville and his wife, Hannah.

"It's a darn shame that this had to happen," Ron said.

"I wish there was a way we could make Dennis feel better."

"Give him our firstborn?"

I slapped his arm. "If I didn't know that you would cling to Rose like a Hungarian Horntail protecting her nest of eggs, I would leave you for that comment."

"You'd rather be married to a comment than me? How did I ever win you over, woman?"

"Like this," I said, kissing him. Then Fleur came over and said that Bill needed Ron to help set up the wizards' chess boards at what they were calling the "bachelor" table, even though most of the men who were over there were married, Dennis being the only one who wasn't.

Ron went with Fleur and I went to talk to Ginny.

On my way to the refreshments' table, a pin fell out of my dress. I bent to pick it up. I felt someone watching me, but I didn't turn around. When you were one of Harry Potter's closest friends, you tended to be watched a lot.

Ron appeared and put his hand on me and laughed at a joke Lee Jordan had made. Then suddenly he pulled his hand back and yelped. He thrust his palm into the punch bowl.

I had little time to notice this, however, for my butt was itching as if a bunch of ants were crawling all over it. I kept my composure as long as I could, but then it really began to feel unbearable, and I started dancing. It was an awful thing to experience.

Draco's boy kindly gave me essence of murtlap. Our hands touched and I felt a surge within me that almost blocked out the itching feeling on my posterior, but not quite. Then I grabbed Ron and Apparated with him to a private room.

Once there, I applied the essence of murtlap to his palm, and then he applied it to my area of infection.

I was certain that I and Ron had been jinxed, but I didn't know who hated us enough to make us look like harlequins in front of an entire wedding congregation.

"Pansy wasn't there, nor that ugly hag that used to hang around her," Ron said. "So I don't know who could have jinxed us."

"I bet it was Nott. He was nearby when it happened, drinking lots of punch."

"It's always Nott. I reckon he'll find a way to revive the Death Eaters if he can."

"Good thing the Ministry will have you to stop him if he tries," I said, appealing to his pride at being an Auror.

I had a dream that night. In it, I was on a massage table and Draco's son was rubbing his hands along my butt. They felt so marvelous in the dream, and I was filled with an ecstasy that I had never felt with Ron.

I woke up screaming, and Ron thought I had had a nightmare. I couldn't tell him what had happened in my dream. That's the kind of thing you should never tell your husband.

The thing that really bugged me is that Scorpius was so young, and here was me, an old maid, dreaming about him, feeling turned on by his touch. I thought I might feel better in the morning, but did I even want to?

For a day or two, all went well enough. But then I began to ache for Scorpius. It was like a need I didn't know how to fill, except I did know how to feel it but the method for doing so was forbidden.

If there was a way to reverse aging, maybe I could pull it off.

To be young again…that was my desire. And not for any selfish reason, at least not _too _selfish. I suppose wanting to be with an attractive young boy when I had a husband was heading a little in that direction. But it wasn't because of Scorpius' looks that I wanted him. It was when he touched me, plus the dream. And he was so sweet. What other fifteen-year-old boy would have given me the essence of murtlap I needed? Maybe he was just practicing to be Healer. I'm sure he'd make a great one, if that was the case.

Maybe I was going through mid-life crisis. Though witches and wizards tend to live longer than Muggles, and I was only forty-one. Midlife crisis shouldn't come for awhile after this. But perhaps it happened now because I was Muggle-born. I had never done research on the matter. I would have to check the library in Trafalgar Square to see if I could find anything there.

As the weeks went by, the pangs began to get worse. I had to know if Scorpius and I could have something. Anything. Even a tiny adventure somewhere. Preferably on a deserted island, where no one would see what we were doing.

I suddenly needed to see Scorpius right away. To satisfy myself on the account that he did not like me, could not like me, and would think me a creepy old woman if I suggested so much as holding his hand.

All I would need to do was Apparate myself to Hogsmeade during one of the weekends that the students of Hogwarts would be there, getting the date from Rose's letters. Then I'd ask Scorpius to sit with me at the Hog's Head, ask him general questions about his father, his sisters, life at home, life at school. Then I'd just come right and ask him if a woman a little bit older than him were to ask him to kiss her, would he be okay with it? I'd give an example of Victoire or something. Victoire is a few years older than him but not old enough to scare him out of his wits. I just hope that if I suggest her, he doesn't despise me for mentioning a girl he doesn't care for. Though as she was in her final year in Hogwarts during his first year there,, it's probable that they never really encountered each other.

I just need to have this settled. I'm choosing the Hog's Head for our meeting because Rose, Hugo, and all of their cousins are forbidden from going in there. In the Three Broomsticks, we would definitely be spotted. Not that we won't be spotted in the Hog's Head; we presumably will. But as long as it's nobody in the family, there'll be little to worry about. I could stand for a few rumors. It's just that I don't want word to reach Ron's ears. Losing my husband over a schoolgirl crush even though I wasn't a schoolgirl anymore was not part of my game plan.


	3. Chapter 3

**Stretching the Boundaries**

**Chapter Three**

"'I'm sorry, Scorpius," Lily said. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad at 's just that I had my heart set on Madam Puddifoot's. It was my thirteenth birthday after all, you know.' How's that?"

"Needs a little work," Lorna said. "You want him to take you back, and I'm not sure that's going to cut it."

"You're right. I'll keep practicing," Lily said, pulling out her mirror and repeating what she had said, trying to get the inflections to tune in such a way that Scorpius would _have _to agree to continue seeing her.

Later, Lily was on her way to talk to Scorpius when Sharon, the self-proclaimed leader in the second-year Hufflepuff sleeping quarters, stopped her.

"Lily, I just heard the most dashing news!" Sharon said. "You're boyfriend is in love with someone who is not you."

"I don't want to hear it," Lily said, covering her ears.

Sharon pulled out her wand and cast a spell which caused Lily's hands to come away from her ears about an inch and no matter how hard Lily tried, she could not bring her hands closer.

"The news is that—"

Lily stared humming but Sharon did a spell to cause her to become muste.

"As I was saying, Scorpius Malfoy is in love with Hermione Weasley."

Lily mouthed some words that Sharon couldn't hear.

"Oh, that's right. You're muted," Sharon said.

Sharon waved her wand and Lily burst out with, "You're lying!"

'Am I?' said Sharon, smiling. "We'll see." And she walked away.

Lily didn't want to believe it, but as she made her way toward the Slytherin Tower, she found herself thinking that she should check into this, even if it she didn't want it to be true…

She went instead to the seventh floor to wait outside of the Gryffindor Tower. Lily tried to guess the password, but the Fat Lady would not let her in without the correct one. ("_Wigibrish_," a new jinx that had become popular which caused people hit with it to speak only gibberish for a day, "gurdyroot," and "Ganymede" had yielded no results).

The first person to emerge from the common room was Dominique Weasley, one of Lily's cousins.

"Hey, can you fetch Rose for me?" Lily asked. "I need to speak to her."

"I am not going to get Rose Weasley because I do not talk to such a cruel person," Dominique said. "Find someone else to be your lackey."

Lily was thinking that there was some place she would like to put her foot, and it wouldn't be pleasant for Dominique. But she let her cousin pass by without voicing this thought.

The next one to come out of the portrait hole was Hugo, Rose's little brother.

He spotted Lily and said, "What are you doing here?"

"You mean, why did I come all the up to Gryffindor Tower from Hufflepuff Basement?"

Hugo nodded.

"Maybe I wanted some exercise?"

"Really, what'd you come up here for?"

"To meet someone."

"Who?"

"Erm...Molly."

Hugo gave her a wry smile. "Got a prank you need planned?"

"Not...exactly," Lily said.

"I'll leave you to it, then." He went on.

Of course Lily could not have told Hugo that she needed to see his sister to confirm a rumor that might be false about her boyfriend.

It was common knowledge that Hugo had liked a girl much older than him: Victoire, Dominique's sister. And though not everyone knew about his journal that was supposed to be a guide to liking older women, Lily did, and she began to ponder if the "prank" she'd use might not be too far from the term after all…

The next person to appear did not come out of the portrait hole but was coming toward it.

Her eldest brother was whistling a merry tune when she called to him.

"Oh hey, Lily. Good to see you."

"Can you do something for me?"

"Sure, as long as it does involve fire-drills or Fizzing Whizbees. I have swallowed four of those already in the past week."

"I hope you're joking."

"Wish I was. Madam Pomfrey says she hasn't seen so many visits from a student since our father was in school."

"If you say so. Anyway, can you go in there and see if Rose is available? I need to talk to her."

"You came up the wrong tower, sis," James said, shaking his head. "Rose is in Ravenclaw, not Gryffindor."

"Oh, right," Lily said, trying to hide her embarrassment.

She started to go and her brother was climbing in the portrait hole, when she whirled around. "Wait, James."

He came out again.

"Can you fetch Molly?"

"Finally, you name a Gryffindor who is actually a Gryffindor. I'll go get her."

Molly presently appeared, climbing through the portrait hole. "You wanted to see me?"

"I need you for a kind of…pranking requisite."

"And what, pray tell, is a 'pranking requisite'?"

"I just mean that I'd like you to fetch that book of Hugo's."

"You're not talking about _the _book, are you?"

"The one where he advises what not to do when liking an older woman,"

"Yes, that's _the _book," Molly said, frowning. "If he catches it missing, he will not be happy."

"Has that ever stopped you from pulling a prank before?"

"No, but Lily…this isn't exactly a prank."

"It may not be, but I need it done."

"May I ask why?"

"No, you may not," Lily said.

"Very well," said Molly. "You are one of my favorite cousins. I trust that you know what you are doing. But don't make Hugo upset, okay? He's a good lad, even if he does have a thing for Victoire."

"I won't," Lily said, by that meaning that she was sure that Hugo wouldn't find out about it.

Molly pulled out the Marauder's Map and tapped it with the words needed to activate it.

"What do you need that for?"

"Checking to see if Hugo's in his room."

"I just saw him walk past, leaving the common room. He couldn't be there."

"Maybe not, but his roommates could be."

She studied the spot on the map where the boys' room was carefully. "Drat! Derek Saunders just walked in there…"

Molly looked at Lily. "There's only one thing we can do. Derek has a _huge _crush on you and I know that if you show up, he'll be drawn out."

"Me? No, I can't do that sort of thing…"

"Do you want Hugo's journal or not?"

"Of course I want it, but—"

"Then let's go!" Molly exclaimed, pulling Lily along to the portrait whole. Mollly gave the password ("Belfry") and they went in. People gawked at Lily—a Hufflepuff visiting Gryffindor House! But they knew how the Potter-Weasley extended family liked to hang out in places they shouldn't be, so no one halted their progress.

They made it up the staircase leading to the boys' dormitories and stopped outside the room which said, "Second years." Then Molly debriefed Lily about what she had to do.

"Barge in there and tell Derek that you're in love with him. Push him on the bed and lead him out. Then figure out a way to get rid of him."

"That's an easy plan for you to come up with. _You _don't have to do any of it."

Molly smiled. "I am dong the most dangerous thing of all, stealing Hugo's journal."

Lily sighed and entered the boy's dormitories. "_Hola_, Derek," she said.

"Lily! In a House that isn't yours and the boys' dormitories, no less."

"Where's you expect to find me, the Forbidden Forest?"

Lily pushed Derek onto the bed. He looked up at her with wonder. "Wow,, you are amazing."

"I know," Lily said. She pulled him up and led him by the hand out of the room. In a small, secluded corner beyond the dark stairs, they began kissing.

Lily began to get frightened. For a thirteen-year-old, Derek made out like someone with a lot of experience.

It seemed like he would never let her go. And then something knocked into him from behind, and he fell smack to the ground.

"One of Uncle George's products," Molly said, presenting it for Lily's admiration. "It's a boxing telescope."

Lily thought it very weird. Telescopes weren't supposed to punch someone in the eye.

Molly handed over the journal, which Lily saw had the words, "Hugo's Guide For Liking Older Women" on the front cover.

"Perfect."

"Anything else?"

"I also think we need Albus' cloak," Lily said.

"I'm on it," Molly said, leaving Lily in the niche with nothng but Hugo's journal to keep her company.

Curious, Lily opened the journal and began reading:

**Hugo's Guide For Liking Older Women**

_Dedicated to Victoire Weasley_.

Rule Number One: Never smile or laugh at something she says. She'll know you like her, which is exactly what you desire. You do not want her to know this, for she will be quickly turned off, even if there is a chance she might like you.

Rule Number Two: Never kiss a girl around your age in front of her, because it will _not _make her jealous.

Rule Number Three: Never ask her to dance if you are both at such a function. She will not accept.

Rule Number Four: Never try to kiss her unless invited to do so, and unless you are in dreamland, you will never be invited to do so.

Rule Number Five: Do NOT buy her a canary for her birthday. (Have tried this with disastrous results.)

Rule Number Six: Don't give her flowers even if her mother's country of origin is known for decorating _fleur-de-lis _on everything.

Rule Number Seven: A compliment will not be appreciated by your lady love. She will think you too young to make such comments. Or for them to matter to her.

Rule Number Eight: You must not pick a fight with her boyfriend in public. (Have also tried this with disastrous results. It does not make her like you., and probably increases her hatred of you.)

Rule Number Nine: Do not let her find a notebook where you have written her name all over the pages.

Rule Number Ten: Do not let her know that you have a picture of her under your pillow and kiss it every night.

Rule Number Eleven: Do not try to innocently pat her knee as you pass each other in the hall.

Rule Number Twelve: Don't blow her a kiss at a party and pretend you thought she was someone else.

Rule Number Thirteen: Don't hire a House Elf to dress us in wings and try to "enchant" her with a song. (You will regret it.)

Rule Number Fourteen: Don't offer to tutor her in anything since you obviously have not taken the coursework she is and she will think you're a fool for doing so.

Rule Number Fifteen: Do not offer to scratch her back. She will look at you like you're crazy.

Rule Number Sixteen: Do not ask your grandmother to make her a sweater with her name on it and offer it to her.

Rule Number Seventeen: Do not ask your grandmother to make her a sweather _without _her name on it and offer it to her.

Rule Number Eighteen: Stop trying to win her affections. It won't happen.

Rule Number Nineteen: She thinks you are the most insignificant blob on the planet. If you try to change that, you will regret it.

Rule Number Twenty: Do not bake her cookies or brownies or anything even if you have won a National Culinary Award.

Rule Number Twenty-One: If you disobey any of these rules, she will be lost to you forever.

Molly arrived just as Lily finished reading rule number twenty-one. There was one more rule that she had left to read.

"Here's the cloak," Molly said.

"Should I put it on now?"

"No. Someone will notice that you didn't leave, as they saw you earlier."

Molly pulled Lily along while Lily felt exposed. They finally left the Gryffindor common room, to Lily's relief.

Lily then parted ways with Molly and went to Ravenclaw Tower where she waited half an hour when she couldn't answer the riddle that the door-knocker in the shape on an eagle had asked her.

Finally someone appeared and answered the riddle, "

Lily went inside and saw the circular room. This was strange. She had already been in Gryffindor Tower tonight and now she was in Ravenclaw Tower. And she might be heading to Slytherin Dungeon later, and of course Hufflepuff Basement included her sleeping quarters, so she'd be there eventually…

It was an hour before anyone noticed Lily sitting on the divan there. Finally a girl approached her. "I'm Head Girl and I'm pretty sure you aren't a Ravenclaw."

"I'm not. I'm here to see my cousin, Rose Weasley."

"We prefer family visits take place _outside _the House of residency when they are not between members of the same House."

"It's kind of urgent."

"Well, I suppose this once…I'll go fetch Rose."

In a moment, Rose was there.

"What do you want, coz?" Rose asked, a bit dazed.

"Did Scorpius talk to you about your mother?"

"As a matter of fact, he did, but not in a crude way such as you are putting it."

"Hey, no need to get testy at me. I'm not the reason Lorcan chose—"

"Lorcan likes me best!" Rose exclaimed, her eyes brimming with heat. "He's just with her because she's a control-freak. Or do I have to show you the scars that her whip left on my back?"

"Fine. I got trouble with my own boyfriend to take care of."

"Go take care of it, then! And leave your poor, cousin Rose alone!"

Lily rushed from Rose, who was frightening when she got in this state.

Once she got out of Ravenclaw Tower and caught her breath, she headed for the Slytherin Dungeon. There she used the password Scorpius had given the week before. She spoke to the wall and it parted to let her in.

Putting on the Invisibility Cloak that Molly had taken from Albus' room for her, she slipped past the Slytherins in their common room and went past the area that made one feel like the lake would plummet down on top of them if it managed to break through the glass in the ceiling there.

She slipped the door of Scorpius' open, startling the two boys who were there, neither of whom was Scorpius.

"Is't ghost?" asked one of the boys.

"Usually we can see the ghosts around here," said the other boy.

They were both clearly frightened.

Lily took a tentative step and tripped over a stuffed dog that made a barking noise. It scared the living daylights out of the two boys, who had not noticed Lily's toes poking out from under the cloak in the dark. They ran from the room.

Then she tossed the book on to Scorpius' bed, where he'd find it. She hoped it would dissuade him from pursuing Lily's aunt.

She reached for it one more time to read the rule number twenty-two that she had missed earlier:

Rule Number Twenty-two: If you break all of these rules, she will hate your guts for the rest of both of your lives.

Scorpius wouldn't be full enough to break all of the rules, but he certainly would break some of them to try to win Lily's aunt. The very idea disgusted her. She dropped the journal on the bed and hurried from the room, bumping into her relative Patrick Dursley along the way.

"What, whose there?" Patrick asked. She did not respond.

He seemed to think it had been a hallucination and Lily got out of the Slytherin Dungeon safely.


End file.
